2003 Quips of the Year

John Wolz

“Unfortunately, we have a whole generation of Americans who�ve grown up with the idea that prices always go down, never up. What we have is a classic Catch 22,” Kim Reynolds of M.K. Morse Co. told the Specialty Tools & Fasteners Distributors Association in his state-of-manufacturing address.

Job-hopping may catch up with you. When the Los Angeles Fastener Association held a Fastener Jeopardy competition, the answer under the “Hodge Podge” category was, “This could be equal to the number of Fastenal branches.” One contestant suggested the question might be “How many fastener companies has [name withheld] worked for?”

Sign of the times: Under the “Now Hiring” personnel sign in front of a Chicago plant was this capitalized word � NONE

One rep was optimistically reporting that business had stopped dropping but then reflected, “Would you have ever thought flatness was good?”

Fastener executives have to make some tough staffing decisions. One of the worst is laying off some of their most prized employees knowing they aren�t likely to get them back when good times return. “You can get married and divorced, but you don�t get married to the same gal again.”

Economist Alan Bealieu urged New England Fastener Distributors Association members to lock in interest rates within the next few months. “Only a few of us will live long enough to see interest rates this low again. And those few probably won�t be aware of anything at that point.”

Looking at a room full of major North American fastener manufacturers, one observer noted that they were the “heavy hitters” of the industry. Given the economy, the Bush steel tariffs, and exodus of fastener production and jobs to China, another observer questioned if they weren�t really the “heavily hit” players.

Suppliers of fasteners to the U.S. military are doing well. One explained that U.S. soldiers in Iraq just abandon $30,000 tents. The tents include fasteners he supplies. “When you are used to losing billion-dollar bombers and helicopters, a $30,000 tent is nothing.”

“Why on earth would you do drug testing on salespeople? You can�t naturally be �up� all the time,” consultant Jim Pancero quipped in his Industrial Distribution Association workshop on sales management.

“The one who wins a reverse auction is the one who made a math error,” Pancero quipped.

“When the water gets shallow, sharks fight harder,” panelist Rick Ferenchick observed at the New England Fastener Distributors Association fall meeting.

Speakers don�t always know how things are going, but the question & answer portion can give a strong indication. Robbie Gilchrist found out when one woman asked at the end of his Southeastern Fastener Association presentation, “How can I get my boss to come talk to you?”

It used to be you went on vacation to get away from the office or plant. But computers bring the office everywhere, and Greg Fields, who spent years developing e-fastener.com, discovered during vacation how tied to the computer he had become: “It was the first time I�ve been separated from my computer in several years. Yikes.”

Mike McGuire reclaimed the Boomerang Quote of the Year with his annual “prognostications & pontifi-
cations” column. McGuire riled fastener association leaders by complaining that the organizations are too fragmented and thus “not producing or providing a whole lot of benefits for their memberships.”
His words boomeranged with his listing of even more “associations” on his own websites: the North American Fastener Reps Association, Arizona Fastener Association and the North American Fastener Institute. No information is given about the groups � no officers, no members, no member benefits and no meetings are listed. The only contact is McGuire himself.
Questions from leaders of actual associations show McGuire painted himself into a corner with his own writing.
“If he says there are too many associations, why is he inventing more?” one fastener organization leader said in pointing out how McGuire created his own Catch 22.
“I wonder what kind of valuable member benefits the Arizona Fastener Association offers?” asked the executive director of another association.
“If the fastener associations listed on his website are phony, is the �ethics page� there phony too?” an industry leader questioned.
(The website claiming two of the associations has subsequently disappeared. The Institute remains on McGuire�s online list of associations.)

In a resume you can make almost anyone look good. In a company profile Gulfstream Financial Group partners Robert Gubitosi and Dominic Polineni tout their experience “negotiating, structuring and participating as a principal in the acquisition of a fastener distribution business” known as Questron Technologies. “After completing 12 additional acquisitions and growing revenues from $8 million in 1994 to a high of $161 million in 2000, Questron was sold to General Electric Company on May 3, 2002.”
One former Questron distributor who read the new resume noted the “rest of the story: The company was down to $100 million in sales and bankrupt before the desperation sale. By the time they got done with it, it had to be pawned.”

“I like reading FIN, but when are you going to add a sports column?” asked a 25-year subscriber. \�2004 FastenerNews.com