2011 Quips of the Year

1/3/2012
HEADLINES
2011 Quips of the Year

“I haven’t heard about the first bail out of a fastener company,” panelist Jim Witucki of Nucor Fastener noted in his state-of-the-industry presentation at the National Industrial Fastener & Mill Supply Expo.

Pacific-West Fastener Association speaker James Alberson was making the point on the need for salespeople to talk to the person who can authorize a purchase.

From the audience Dallas Puckett of Valley Nut & Bolt – who mentioned he has purchased 50 motorcycles in the past 40 years – vividly backed up the need to reach the decision maker: “I’m sold. At this point, any motorcycle salesperson has to convince my wife,” Puckett explained.

“There are similarities between the critical care industry and the fastener industry,” Kimberly Kindl, who is both a nurse and director of marketing for Aztech Locknut, told the Women in Fastener Industry meeting in conjunction with FastenerTech 2011. “An angry customer in no different from an angry patient.”

Show management dropped its traditional “best booth” awards for NIFMSE in 2011. Though there were many potential winners, just one simple sign could have earned Cardinal Fastener & Specialty Co. the award. After going through bankruptcy starting in June, for the October NIFMSE, John Grabner put up a neon “Open” sign in the booth to spread the word.

Told You So Department: From permafrost to 100-foot waves in the Gulf of Alaska, Specialty Tools & Fasteners Distributors Association president Mike Kangas of Alaska Industrial Hardware described the hardships of distribution in the “Land of the Midnight Sun.” (see December 8, 2011 FIN).

Was Kangas exaggerating? Just weeks later Kangas’ claim was verified: “We just had a container ship limp in to the port of Anchorage that encountered 110 ft waves. Several containers were damaged, including one of ours that tipped over.”

How is the economy? STAFDA board member Nils Lindbloom of The Tool Shed of Greenville, SC, penned poetry to describe it to members:

Though interest rates are steady,

No one wants to borrow;

Customers would like to build something,

But they’re worried about tomorrow;

The cost of freight is going up,

So are the costs of goods;

We’d like to raise our margins if we only could,

Competition is fierce for every sale made;

From Internet to Big Box stores,

Then we worry about getting paid,

We believe things will get better,

Entrepreneurs often do,

So we will just keep hanging on

Until the skies are blue.

STAFDA executive director Georgia Foley drew the assignment to report to the association on the economy: “Since I have the shortest time on stage this morning, I’ll be the bearer of bad news. Let me briefly cover some of the issues affecting our industry, but please, don’t shoot the messenger.”

One rep joked during the Southeastern Fastener Association meeting that he checks the obituaries on GlobalFastenerNews.com every morning to see if his name is there so he knows whether to make sales calls that day.

Given the economy, another rep quipped that though the first rep’s name may not be in the obituaries, “his line might be.”

While the fastener industry waited for word on what would happen to Heads & Threads International in bankruptcy, one industry sage was asked if he was interested in buying HTI. “I’d offer only what I can put on my credit card,” he ventured.

Who qualifies as a fastener industry veteran?

“How many of you remember a telex machine?” panelist Joel Roseman of Arnold Supply Inc. asked during his “How to Buy Fasteners” presentation at the New England Fastener Distributors Association (see November 21, 2011 FIN).

Five of 29 in the room raised their hands.

The controversial U.S. Health Care plan was the on the agenda for discussion in the Business Owners/Executive Forum during the spring Pac-West meeting. Moderator Keith Shaback of Burnaby, British Columbia-based Pacific Fasteners Ltd. easily dodged the controversy: “I’ll leave this to you guys,” the Canadian sidestepped the topic.

“I’m no Brett Favre, I’m not back forever,” Bruce Darling declared of his return from semi-retirement to a fulltime vice president for materials management role at Porteous Fastener Company. Darling has been with Porteous for 23 years and in the fastener industry for 44 years.

Joe Greenslade told Pac-West he usually responds to the industry’s technical questions within an hour. “If you send me a question and you do not get an answer within 24 hours … contact me again. Either I did not receive your message or I died!”

NIFMSE panelist Mike Smith of Smith Associates Inc. was having throat problems as he took his turn at the podium. “A curse of being a salesman is talking too much,” the veteran rep explained his hoarse voice.

David Parham of Orbitform sought fastener editors’ attention with the following P.R. “pitch” letter:

Dear Editors and Friends,

As you consider sharing this information with your readers, please be aware that Hot Upset Riveting won’t:

· Eliminate Colonel Qaddafi

· Stop leaking radioactive water

· Cure world hunger

But it can be extremely beneficial in manufacturing applications that require high strength joints.

Best regards,

David Parham

Consultant John Hamilton asked National Fastener Distributors Association members: “Raise your hand if you’d like to be sitting next to someone else.”

Alberson also made Pac-West members aware of the importance of taking care of existing customers: “You’re best customer is someone else’s best prospect.”

“Remember, Congress can tell you to diaper your dogs,” Mark Holloway of Lockton Inc. told National Fastener Distributors Association members

As he started his presentation on healthcare to the NFDA, Mark Holloway promised

“Speakers never get shot for finishing early, but can for running over into cocktail hour.”

“I haven’t heard about the first bailout of a fastener company,” panelist Jim Witucki of Nucor Fastener noted in his state-of-the-industry presentation at the National Industrial Fastener & Mill Supply Expo.