PERSPECTIVE: 2002 Quips of the Year

John Wolz

Panelist Jim Reutz was explaining to fellow National Fastener Distributor Association members that they need to do more than just �date� customers and suppliers. They need to �marry them.�
Supplier Rebecca Branson of Threaded Rod brought down the house in the Q&A period with her question for Reutz. �I�ve never been married,� she noted. �Have you been talking to my parents? Do I need to get married to understand the supplier/customer relationship?�

�Silence is not Golden,� an industry observer said of stainless fastener supplier Wayne Golden�s Fastener Hall of Fame induction speech, which created industry buzz (see FIN, December 12, 2002).

How bad is the economy? After 25 months of recession for his company, one exhibitor said he was avoiding customers at trade shows. �I can�t afford to take them to dinner,� he explained.

Noting the recession, National Fastener Distributors Association president Don Westby suggested some members may be in a new category. �Since the past year wasn�t very good for most of us, we may be in the tax-free nonprofit category.�

Consultant Michael Marks has spoken at so many NFDA meetings so often that Westby quipped he is now a �W-2 instead of a 1099.�

Joe Butvin was showing a clip from the NFDA�s Train-the-Trainer program on washers. Just as the distributors were getting interested, Butvin abruptly shut off the demo. �Want to see the rest? Buy it,� Butvin declared. �I�m a salesperson,� he responded to groans from those wanting more.

How do you describe to people entering the fastener industry how important for 22 years the Columbus trade show was in its time? One veteran Columbus exhibitor put it in perspective: �It lasted twice as long as it took to implement the Fastener Quality Act.�

The big hand reached 12 and the speaker asked if he should start the program. Los Angeles Fastener Association executive director Vickie Lester said to go ahead. �Don�t penalize those who came on time.�

�The person who sent you here thinks a lot of you,� instructor Carmen Vertullo of SimplyBetter said to LAFA�s Certified Fastener Specialist students sent by employers for the training.

�But don�t tell [spouse�s name withheld] how much Pentacon stock we owned,� said one stockholder who lost what would have paid for a new master bathroom.

One industry veteran said he once felt insulted that the fastener industry was ignored by the news media and stock analysts. But with almost daily headlines about Enron, WorldCom, Conseco, Global Crossing, United Airlines, Adelphia and Kmart bankruptcies, he was glad that the fastener industry�s bankruptcies and teetering companies this year didn�t make blaring national headlines.

Members were asking at the business meeting how the Southwestern Fastener Association money is invested safely. �We�re not investing in Enron stock,� executive director John Elsner reassured them.

�Welcome to Baltic Avenue,� an unhappy exhibitor at the entrance to the auxiliary hall at the National Industrial Fastener Show/West said as an attendee wandered over to the �spillover� room from the main hall.
The exhibitor noted that price for Monopoly�s Baltic Avenue was $60 compared with Boardwalk�s $400, but the booth rent in the �Baltic Avenue Champagne Ballroom� was the same as the �Boardwalk� main hall.

In a discussion of product liability insurance STAFDA LegalCare consultant Mark Harrison told reps: �Lawyers will defend you to your last penny, but not beyond your last penny.�

�What is the greatest computer in the world?� motivational speaker Bryan Dodge asked at the Southwestern Fastener Association spring conference. �Your brain. It turns on the computer.�

A lot of people are self-conscious about giving a sample of their handwriting for analysis. But Kathy Sackheim, author of �Handwriting Analysis & the Employee Selection Process,� has no such trepidation about her own profession. She hand wrote a thank you note to FIN for a book review.

�I can�t wat �til the movie comes out. Who is going to play my handwriting?� XL Screw CEO Ron Sackheim said of his unidentified handwriting sample in his spouse�s book.

Lunch table banter at the Southwestern Fastener Association meeting was on the subject of vehicles used for outside sales calls. One Texan bragged about his behemoth V-10 SUV. �Don�t you have to stop at every other gas station?� someone asked. �Yah, but I sure get between those gas stations quickly,� the distributor boasted.

One fastener buyer said she justified the cost of attending the Southwestern Fastener Expo by saying it would be helpful to actually meet the sellers she talked to for years on the phone. After meeting one she regretted the trip: �I�m sorry I saw him, because now I know he is losing his hair.�

�At the level we are dealing with they are clueless that they own it,� one fastener distributor said of a major order from a division of a corporation that had acquired a competing fastener distributorship.

�My mouth won�t write any checks that my body can�t back up,� Pentacon CEO Rob Ruck assured suppliers when telling them they would be paid within 120 days. Suppliers report Ruck kept his word.

Mike McGuire�s Boomerang Quote of 2001 must have triggered an inter-office rivalry. Not to be outdone by his trade show partner, Jim Bannister came back with four nominations for Boomerang Quote of 2002. The winning Boomerang involved Bannister and McGuire scheduling their 2003 Las Vegas show over the same days as the Specialty Tools & Fasteners Distributors Association 27th annual convention: On March 15, 2002, Bannister wrote: �We actually discovered this situation Wednesday, March 13, and are already working with the Sales Department at the Paris Las Vegas Hotel to change our 2003 dates to avoid the conflict with STAFDA.�
But on April 11, 2002, Bannister wrote to STAFDA that �When we learned last December that the dates � are in direct conflict � we took immediate action to remedy this unfortunate situation.�
With Bannister putting the conflicting discovery dates in his own writing and then never switching to non-conflicting dates for the industry, no wonder STAFDA executive director Georgia Foley termed his claims to be �a bad acting job.�

�Our nut quality really is better than our video quality,� a sales manager muttered when he couldn�t get his company promo to work.\ �2003 FastenerNews.com