Turnbull Publishes dot.com Humor Book

John Wolz

Mike Turnbull changed the atmosphere of a tense meeting with a Purchased Parts Group customer with a joke.
�While sitting on my lap, my granddaughter Kara said, �Do you ever brush your teeth?� By sharing this story in a meeting, it broke the tension that existed, made me a real person with foibles and helped get our negotiations off to a friendly start.�
Turnbull, who started Purchased Parts by acquiring a small Detroit-based fastener distributorship in 1975 for $2 million, began receiving e-mail jokes a decade ago and this year published The Best of dot.com Humor with 600 of the estimated 60,000 he has received.

Though he always specialized in humor, when PPG started using the Internet in 1990 for integrated supply programs, Turnbull discovered how easy it was for a joke to be spread worldwide in a day.
He soon began receiving 30 to 40 e-mail stories a day.
�It is a mess when I go on vacation,� Turnbull observed.
Though much of the book is adult humor, there are plenty of jokes applicable to business:
�Mergers: Fed Ex & UPS = Fed Up�
�Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.�
�Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.�
�People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them that Benjamin Franklin said it first.�
�If at first you don�t succeed, try management.�
�In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.�
One voice mail joke as adapted for office use: �Hi, I am probably in the office. I�m just avoiding someone I don�t like. Leave me a message, and if I don�t call back, it�s you.�
Turnbull�s collection spanned the Clinton administration, with Bill and Hillary being easy targets for humorous barbs. Turnbull is beginning to receive Dubya jokes.
The Best of dot.com Humor is not a fastener book. The closest Turnbull comes to a fastener joke is: �If you mixed vodka with orange juice and milk of magnesia, would you get a Phillip�s Screwdriver?�
You can e-mail your latest nut, bolt or screw joke to Turnbull and ask for a fastener chapter in the next volume: mltppg@purchasedparts.com After all, Purchased Parts sold $110 million worth of fasteners in North America and the UK last year.
Fasteners on the Internet
San Diego-based Hayes Bolt & Supply introduced optional online ordering, Terri O�Barski announced. �We partner with our customers to reduce indirect cost through our �Hardware On Time� (H.O.T.) program,� O�Barski said. E-mail: terri@hayesbolt.com Web: hayesbolt.com � Jackson, MI-based Orbitform, a member of the Industrial Holdings Inc. fastener group, changed its web site with new orbital forming, impact riveting, fastening & assembly systems, roller head forming and thermo-pneumatic staking information at Orbitform.com � Skydock.com was launched for B2B supply chain management and ordering fasteners and safety equipment in prototype or production quantities. The site catalog has a half million fastener items. Skydock acquired Mike McSwain & Co. in 1999 and has nine master distribution centers in North America, including one in Alaska for over-the-pole shipping to European and Asian markets. Sam Selby is president of sales. Samselby@ skydock.com � Flippin, AR-based Micro Plastics Inc.�s web site includes its new Polycarbonate screws. E-mail: mpsales@microplastics.com. Web: microplastics.com \
�2001 FastenerNews.com